For My Father

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What defines being a father?  Is it merely a biological connection as he played the ultimate role in the development of a seed that later saw life as a newborn baby?  Or, is it a man who has devoted his life to raising a child, regardless if it’s biologically his or not, to become the best possible human being possible?

What if there is no man in the child’s life and is surrounded only by women who wind up assuming both the roles of mother and father to ensure all the needs of that child are met?  Does it count when a woman assumes the role of fatherhood?  Can she be called “dad” instead of this title automatically being granted to a man?

My definition of a father is simply someone who is in your life from start to finish and does the best he can to ensure you’ve got all the luxuries of love, honor and respect only he knows he can provide.  He does so without hesitation and asks nothing in return other than perhaps to see you grow to become an even more brilliant fruit than he has ever been.  Or she, pending on your circumstance and viewpoint in this matter.

Sadly, there are deadbeat fathers and men who just cannot measure up to the standards of what defines what being a Dad is all about.  Regardless of their circumstances that has put them into that kind of situation where they’re not as involved in their child’s life as they should be, they still deserve some kind of honorable mention.  Majority of the time, these deadbeats are so lost that sometimes they make the decision their child is better off without them and they figure by making the personal sacrifice to just stay out of the picture is the better route to go.  There are many men who also have become so corrupted with whatever life decisions they’ve made to put them in a moralistic ailment that they don’t even realize what they’re doing and so far haven’t learned to climb out of the pit of darkness they’ve plunged themselves into.  Until such men find the light to snap out of their situation, the assumption of the role of fatherhood has to fall upon someone who can handle it for the sake of the child.

So this is where uncles, step-fathers, grandfathers, big brothers and family friends step in.  A true father isn’t defined by biological means, but rather a spiritual one.  Someone rich in spirit will always reach out to those in their lives and often find themselves in fatherly roles where the young look up to them.

A father is there for his child no matter what life throws at them.  He (or she) assumes the ultimate role as guardian, counselor, educator, disciplinarian and provider.  This is done so with love in the heart and dedication in the soul, which strengthens the spirit to do all it can to ensure every child he (she) is involved with becomes every bit as fruitful as he has been.  In fact, the primary goal of a father is to nourish his child(ren) to become even better than he has ever been.  He puts full faith into that child that one day he will surpass all his own personal expectations and take the world by storm as he knows that’s within his right to do so.

Fathers, along with the efforts of the mother, value the teamwork efforts of a family that always finds a way to flourish no matter what sort of environment they happen to be in.  It doesn’t matter if the living conditions is in a luxurious mansion or a broken down shed that’s been converted to a somewhat livable home.  All the resources they can get their hands on to ensure their child(ren) has the needs met will be utilized and they will continue to do this until their final breath.  For them, it doesn’t matter if their children in that time grow up to become adults themselves.  Even if the child is reaching the age of half a century, if the father is still alive he will continue to provide all that he can because the love he feels for that child is unwavering.

I lost my father in 1993, just shy of my 23rd birthday.  It was a huge loss, but even there I felt truly blessed as I knew I had a man in my life that loved me with every fiber in his being and sacrificed so much just to be sure his little girl got everything she needed.  In many cases I was spoiled as I felt my aggressive youth at that time cornered him to give me what I wanted with very little regard as to how much it’d cost him.  My father was the kindest man I ever knew and to this day I have yet to meet anyone who has this remarkable character trait he had.  Nobody comes close and that’s not just a biased opinion because he’s my father.  Of those who knew him will also say the same thing.  He was cut from a very rare cloth that only a tiny handful of people are from and unlike most, refused to corrupt himself with life’s issues that could have very easily turned him into a very different man.

I’ve also had some great fatherly figures in my life too.  Some were related to me like uncles and older cousins and some had no biological relation to me at all.  Like my father, they did the best they could to ensure this little girl grew up to become something special.  I wouldn’t say I’m special, but I do believe much of who I am has been heavily defined by these great male (and some female) figures I’ve had in my life.  And I know how they all are as fathers with their own children.  Nothing short of fantastic.

To all the fathers out there, I honor you as I write this on Father’s Day.  I also honor all those who’ve acknowledged their father is the one true hero in their life that makes Superman look like a weakling in comparison.  Kids of all ages, I don’t care where you are or whom you’ve got in your life, please don’t take for granted all those who has done the best they can as they vow to be that one person in your life you know you can count on to love you, honor you, respect you and take the time to care for you.

Our Holy Father has granted humanity this great gift called life and he has done so by blessing us with mothers and fathers to carry on this miraculous tradition throughout the generations.  I hope and pray blessings such as these will continue for many more generations to come.


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