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Easy Street looks simple enough.  Everything is paved and the view is fantastic.  What can go wrong by taking such a road?  At least with this direction all appears calm and fulfilling so why not take it?  It certainly looks like it’s an easier one to travel and I’m sure it’ll lead to something truly remarkable, right?

I mean, it looks safer than that rocky one to the left that seems to be blurred with clouds and thick forest.  Where does that even go anyway?  How do you know if you travel on that you don’t mistakenly take a step and fall into a pit full of snakes?  That can’t lead to anywhere good.  Why would I want to take it, especially if the one to the right seems so much more inviting.

You know what, I’m going to take the road to the right.  I don’t want to risk hurting myself or getting into a situation I can’t get out of.  I can’t guarantee my safety with the rocky road so I’ll take the paved one instead.

Path taken….

See?  Isnt it nice?  The trees are lush, filled with fruit.  The grass looks healthy and the animals seem well here.  And look at the people, they all look so happy!  I’m so glad I took the easy road.  Everything I could possibly want is at my fingertips.  You know what?  I’m going to grab that apple hanging from that tree in front of me.  It’s big, shiny and just looks so juicy!  I got to have it!

Taking a bite….

Yuck!  What was that?  That’s not an apple!  It looks like one but it doesn’t taste like one.  And, or really?  A glowing green worm coming out from it’s core?  Is it full of radiation?  That’s disgusting!  I think I’m going to be sick!  I need a doctor!  I see a medical clinic just up ahead.  I think I can make it.  This path I’m on leads straight to it so it won’t take long.

Path taken….

*Pant! Pant!*  That took forever!  WTF?  It would have only taken me five minutes, but all that damned traffic!  Where did all those people come from?  So much for an easy road!  Doesn’t do much good if it’s cluttered with idiots cutting you off, getting in the way and slowing you down!

*Cough! Cough!*  Doctor!  I need a doctor!  Find me a doctor!

Nurse approaches….

Sorry, sir, but our beds are full and it’ll take hours before we can get to you.  What’s your problem anyway?

I’m dying!  I’ve been poisoned by that rotten apple that looked perfect on the outside but it’s contaminated on the inside!

Oh, is that all?  Here, take this bottle of pills.  It’ll make you feel better.

What is it?

Just pills.  Trust me.  You’ll feel so much better after you’ve taken regular doses of it.

Okay, sure.

Pills taken….

Hey, I do feel better!  Thanks!  Back to easy street I go.  I came here to get somewhere and if I have to trample over all these other idiots to get there so be it!

Oops, sorry, kid.  Didn’t see your hand.  Didn’t mean to step on it, but your mother should have taught you better manners.  Don’t you know you should look both ways before you cross a street?  Don’t give me that bullshit that you did and I came speeding out of nowhere!  If you’re too slow to move your ass that’s not my problem!  Hey, mom!  WTF are you teaching your kids?  What do you mean you’re too busy?  You lazy bitch, I don’t care you work two full-time jobs just so you can feed your kid and keep those fancy pants over your fat ass!  I only care about where I need to go and your brat got in the way and you’re slowing me down with your raving.

Don’t call me moody!  I’m fine!  See?  I got pills to prove it!  Hey, it’s been five minutes since I took one.  I’m overdue for another!

More Pills Taken….

Ahhh!  I feel better!  Hey, lady, where’s your son?  Dead?  What do you mean dead?  He was here a minute ago.  See, you should always keep an eye on your kid.  You suck as a parent.  Oh, hey, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to make you cry.  Hey, I got an idea.  Take one of my pills.  You’ll feel better.  See?  Now your son no longer means as much to you now as he didn’t a moment ago when you let him get in my way and I ran him over with my car.  Hey, like I said, it’s not my fault.  Shit happens.  Hey, take another pill with me will ya?

Nice to chat with you lady.  You mean you need more pills?  Just go into that clinic.  Don’t mind the lineup.  I’m sure in a day or two a doc will finally see you.  I got to be going now.  Easy street may be nice and paved with everything I could ever want, but it’s a long road and I want to get to the top of that pyramid I see up ahead.  It’s so bright with gold how can I resist?

Easy street journey continues….

Hey, what happened to the pavement?  It’s all cracked!  Stupid politicians!  They should have known better than to hire the local scum around here to do a job they clearly can’t do.  Foreigners are cheaper and can get the job done faster.  I don’t care if it’s a bad job – as long as it’s good enough for me to move along with ease because that’s what easy street is supposed to be about.  I’m not supposed to struggle for what I want.  It should just fall into my lap because I asked for it.  You know, I worked hard to get that mansion I live in by myself and I’ll be damned if I will go back to that shitty apartment I crawled out of.  I hope my wife and kids rot in hell because that’s where they belong.  Ungrateful shits!  So I slept with the secretary, and the waitress and the barmaid.  So what?  And just because I slapped junior for spilling paint on my shoe doesn’t mean I’ve done anything wrong.  I was trying to teach that stupid son of mine the importance of discipline.  Easy street may be easy, but you’ve got to know your place.  I am king and nobody else, dammit!

WTF happened to that pyramid?  It was right in front of me a moment ago and now it’s to my right.  This means I have to step off this paved path and take those shortcuts that lead into what looks like an amusement park.  Hey, I don’t mind.  I can have some fun as I go reach for that top.  There’s some pretty cool rides and games there.  But, I wonder why there’s so clowns dancing in those small red ponds?

Hey, those aren’t ponds!  That’s blood!  And that merry-go-round!  Those aren’t horses!  Those are people!  WTF?  What kind of playground is this?

And what happened to the view?  First it was bright skies and brilliant trees, now there’s nothing blackness above.  Where’s the stars?  What’s going on?

Oooh, look a cabaret!  Hey, what timing!  I was starting to wonder WTF I got myself into and look at all those titties!  Oh yeah, this is what I’m talking about, baby!  Maybe if I’m lucky I can “tap” one of those hot dancers and we have ourselves a really good time!

Hey, ho, wanna blow?  Hold on, I need a pill.  One sec…

Um…what’s going on?  I thought these pills were supposed to make me feel better.  Why do I feel sicker than ever before?  Hey, these aren’t my normal pills!  Bitch!  I said blow me, not fuck me up!

Oh man, I’m so dizzy.  I don’t feel good.  I think I’m going to, going to….

You know, now that I think of it, this easy street isn’t so easy after all.  Even though I can get what I want, I noticed I can’t get what I really need.  What’s happened to me?  I used to be a nice guy, you know.  OMG my wife!  Junior!  What have I done?  Wow, I hope they’re okay.  I didn’t mean to be such a jerk.  I just wanted to have things easy, you know.  Who wouldn’t?  But I’m realizing now everything around me is a lie.  It’s all fake.  Now when I take a closer look at those trees they’re plastic.  The grass is artificial.  The food has been modified somehow where it looks good, but that’s the only good thing about t.  And those pills!  OMG – I got addicted!

This amusement park isn’t so amusing after all.  But why am I hearing laughter?  Where is it coming from?  They pyramid!  They’re laughing from there!  I can see through it’s windows now.  They’ve got more luxuries with that tiny little group than I’ve seen throughout all these easy street decorations combined!  What’s up with that?

Are they laughing at me?  Hey, they’re laughing at all of us.  How dare they?  You know, if it wasn’t for us they wouldn’t be in that pyramid!  We built it with our own hands!  We believed in those people!  Look at what they’ve done!  They’re mocking us as they steal from us.  Hey!  Those that shirt is mine!  How dare you rip it off my back!

Taxes?  I don’t owe taxes!  Debt?  Hey, just because circumstances stops me from paying all my bills on time doesn’t mean you have the right to take everything away from me.  I earned it, you know.  Hey, I’m not lazy!  I work 80 hours a week, dammit!  I sometimes have to snort coke in order to pull it all off, you know.

You know, the more I think of it, the more I wished I took that rocky road instead.  It didn’t look nice upon entrance but at least it was real.  This easy street is pure bullshit and I feel worse now than before I took it.  This is the dumbest decision I’ve ever made because all I’ve done is make my life harder while that 1% laughing inside that pyramid at me has it easier.  How did it come to this?  Where is God in all this?  Why isn’t he here.

…echoing from the distance…. It’s because I’m busy working over here, you know, where the rocky road is you chose not to take.  I’m not allowed in your world right now because of the current steward. I’m honoring my end of the agreement to let him finish what he started before I can take back the lease.  You know, all of that could have been avoided if you all just listened to me and stuck to the path I laid out for you instead of the one you took.

Really?  God?  You don’t exist!  You’re just some figment of imagination drummed up by crazy people.  Just because of some meaningless words from some book is regarded as some kind of bible doesn’t mean it’s worth anything.  Get out of my head, loser!  You don’t belong here!  I’m right where I want to be.  Stay out of my life and don’t bother me again.  Go play daddy to those too still too stupid to grow up and realize they are in charge of their own destinies, not you!

Hey, pyramid people, sorry I doubt you.  Hey, I see you glowing!  There’s red lines on the ground before me.  It’s wording!  Hey, let’s see if I can figure out what it says.

I…L…L…U…M…I…N…A…T…I  Hey!  Where did the writing go?  Hey, why are you pyramid people going up into the sky?  Where are you going?

Hey, I hear something?  Screams?  Why is the world around me suddenly dying?  OMG!  Those poor animals!  The people!  OMG!  Everybody is dying all around me!  Bombs!  I hear bombs!  Hey, there’s a group of guys waving flags…ISIS!  What are those Muslim bastards doing here!  Get them the hell out of here!

Hey, I just saw the mask come off one of those ISIS guys.  He’s not Muslim!  He’s white!  And he has a God Bless America tattoo on the back of his head.  He’s not American!  He’s a traitor!  And what’s with the blue star tattoo around his eye?  WTF?

I’d talk more, but it appears the poison that was in that apple I bit into is finally getting to me.

Goodbye, cruel world.  It was fun while it lasted.

*fading* Why didn’t I listen to God?  Why didn’t I take the road he told me to take?


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